What the hell kind of assignment is this anyway?! Write a short story like Akugatawa, she said. Like Akutagawa! I wish! Every time I try to write a sentence I feel like a clown trying to dance.
Listen to me: first I need to read 700 volumes of classical European literature, then learn Classical Chinese, then I’ll work feverishly for six months polishing every line of a single short story until all pieces in the scenario have a purpose and my mind breaks under migraines, hallucinations, and paranoia. Then I’ll have guilty affairs with three or four lovers and kill myself. And then I’ll have written a short story deserving the title “like Akutagawa”. Feh.